Who is this “you” who can have a Focker and yet refuse to allow this Focker to define you? Who is this “you” who can observe and witness Focker thinking? Who is this “you” who can learn the skills needed to discover that freedom? You have agreed for now to say your home is at Center at the level of your heart.
Many years ago there was a group of people sitting around a fire talking to the wise one of the village. They were saying how restless they had been over their lives. One of the group spoke up and said, “Wise One, we have looked for peace and contentment many different places and in men and women and we have everything we want, but we are still restless. Where do we find this precious gift?” The wise one said, “Your seeking has been wasted. What you long for is right here.” They looked around saying, “Where, where is it, tell us where it is.” The wise one smiled and said, ‘It is inside you.”
You are about to embark on a journey that will change your life forever. It is the journey of discovering what many Wise Ones over the centuries have called, “your true self.” In some ways you have been training and preparing for these experiences all of your life. You just didn’t know it. And over the last week or so, you have had more training and preparation. Now you are ready to begin the adventure of exploring this home within you which has been there all the time, this home that we will call your “Center.”
Listen to CM11
What was that like? (Group Discussion)
Are you starting to get some feel for the nature of your Center? Focker is going to resist and you are not going to fight back, but you will find a way to help Focker understand that being Centered is so much better than living in fear, anxiety and depression. At Center, you are leaving your Fockers behind and beginning the exploration of your Center where there is stillness and quietness. We are leaving our Fockers behind. If we can stay at Center and not be pulled away by those same mother Fockers, we are in this place of stillness and quietness. By definition, it has to be peaceful.
Is everybody getting the idea that at Center, we will not allow our Focker to define who we are? We can separate and create our own reality.
What are some traits that would define your true self? I have listed some ideas below. Without looking at those ideas, what are your ideas about your true self? Write them down in your notebook.
Handout
SOME TRAITS OF YOUR TRUE SELF AT CENTER
Peaceful, Calm in the midst of a storm
Loving Lives in the moment
Accepting Awake
Compassionate Open
Non-judging The observer
Free Passionate
Grateful Clarity
Forgiving Patient
Joyful Curious
Flexible Wise
Attentive Alert
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What I have come to believe over the years is these and similar traits represent our true self or our true nature. This is who we are without the contamination of fear and the self-focused mentality of our Fockers. We all live out of our true nature from time to time, but you are in some areas of your life caught up in your Focker and that’s why you’re here. My goal is to help you awaken with more clarity, power, and vitality the traits you have listed and the traits listed above. To use our model, my job is to help you be more Centered in your life.
These are general traits. As time passes you must define your own Center. For the rest of your life, if you follow this model, you will be asking, “What does it mean to be Centered in this situation?” And you will have the skills in most instances to get Centered. Remember, you will never be perfect.
Remember how Focker had four dimensions to his existence. In addition to the traits some of which are feelings, your Center has the same dimensions: thoughts, feelings, the physical, and behavioral. When you are Centered, what are you thinking in relation to your PTSD? This question will be valid for all other aspects of your life. When you are Centered, what are you thinking in relation to your family, your work, your friends, your life in general? Our focus is on the PTSD. So looking at those Centered traits and remembering your Focker and your symptoms, what are your Centered thoughts?
Give this a try before you look at the ideas below and write them in your notebook.
Handout
YOUR TRUE SELF AT CENTER WITH PTSD
THOUGHTS:
I cannot change the past; it is what it is.
My memory of the past is just that; a memory.
I can choose how I respond to my memories.
I regret some choices I made in combat situations.
I accept those choices.
I make restitution where possible.
I will mourn the loss of my friends.
I have a past, but it does not define me.
I can experience peace and love in my life.
I am free from worry about the future.
This moment is all there is.
I am at peace.
I do not judge myself or others.
I accept without judgment flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks.
FEELINGS:
See the above list of “Some Traits of your True Self at Center.” Some are feelings as well as traits.
PHYSICAL:
Energized, flowing, fluid, balance and harmony, relaxed, and loose.
BEHAVIOR:
Practicing Centering skills
Being non-judgmental to self and others
Embracing the moment
Loving relationships
Sensitivity to others
Acts of kindness
Taking care of the body through exercise, nutrition, and sleep
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This is not a complete list and we will add to it as the training continues.
Listen to CM12
When you opened your eyes, it might have felt like you weren’t there anymore. You never went anywhere. You were always right here at Center. In the same way, your Center is always with you. To understand more clearly this concept, I asked you to consider choosing a place that symbolizes your Center. It gives you a tangible place from which to live and function. It is located in the middle of your chest at heart level. Your Center has always been here. You just didn’t realize it.
You thought you and Focker were the same person. In the beginning, you will go to this place many times to personalize it and make it your home. It is here where you will find the truth that sets you free. It is here that you will rest in the quietness and stillness and discover how to spend more of your life in the moment with an overall feeling of inner peace. If you get caught up into Focker’s journey, you can close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and go to Center and awaken again to who you are.
One client wondered how he would find out who he is at Center. Finding all the answers to who you are is quite an undertaking. I can promise when you finish this group that you’ll have a lot of answers to that question. It’s my hope that each of you will also know that there will be many more discoveries to be made on your journey.
Another client said she saw the Center as a training area. She said I train at my Center and when I open my eyes, I’m ready to begin taking this training with me into the challenges of PTSD and the living of my life. She reminded the group that’s what we did in the military. “We trained and we took those skills into combat. I believe it’s the same thing.”
You train at Center and at some point, you will be able to bring your Center with you when you open your eyes. Some challenges will be more difficult than others. At some point, being Centered in some areas becomes easier and you don’t even have to think about it. You just do it.
I’m always eager to know if anyone chose a particular setting for their Center. Would anyone be willing to tell us the place they picked for their Center? There is usually a wide range of places.
(Group discussion)
The challenge is to stay at Center and train to deal with life moment by moment. Focker says you should feel guilty about your friends who died in the war and you say from Center that you feel sad and will miss them, but you will not feel guilt. Focker says well good luck with that. You don’t know how not to feel guilty. And you say that’s true but I will learn how to let it go.
We’ve covered a lot. It’s time for a break. Let’s do it again in silence. Practice your breathing and being in the moment.
* * * * *
Would anyone like to share questions or comments you thought of during the break?” (Group Discussion)